Promises, Prizes And Reasoning

Disclaimer : Obviously, it's all fictional! I never thought that I'll stoop to the level of using such rude sarcasm/crude jokes but then all I can ask is, who really started it ?

Letter from Beenish Khan

Dear Noble prize committee

With this letter, I want to inform you that I have a very strong will of working for the people of the world. One day I will get up and would work for all of you, I swear I WILL. I will take actions , which aren't really clear as yet, but yes I WILL take actions which will bring peace and prosperity for mankind. I'll kill every terrorist on planet Earth, if that means cleaning up Afghanistan and Iraq from the map of world and making a good mess of Pakistan then that's what I will do.

I'll now retire to T.V. lounge, to enjoy my most favorite show, 'Kill for the fun - direct from Afghanistan' along with my crispy chips and coke. So now, can I please have my Noble Peace Prize ?

Waiting to hear from you,
Beenish Khan,

Letter from Noble prize committee


Dear Ms. Khan,

It seems that there was a misunderstanding about the criteria for awarding the Noble Peace Prize, let us now state it clearly for once and all. Following are the rules for awarding the Noble peace prize, please note that they are listed in the order of priority.

1. You are a known US citizen, who in one way or another participated in some kind of without-reason-war with other nations. You eventually went on to act as a major pain in the ass and creating something close to a genocide.

2. You meet rule 1.

3. You meet rule 1.

4. ....well...you have to meet rule 1!

5. You are some internationally known personality, who always looked busy but wasn't really doing anything apart from acting as a dummy and making sure that other nations suppress to death. (remember Kofi Annan!)

6. Okay , so there is no one from USA/UN, in that case, we just pick up some random personality, you know by using something like paper, scissor....

Dear Ms. Khan, in your case, we are afraid that we can't do much. You are from a sucking high risk country, as you know , being in Pakistan makes you a terrorist automatically, so **** off and don't waste our time, you little piece of crap.

For future, please note that we never give prizes on promises unless you are a US citizen for who the gay member of the committee have some hots.

Regards,
Noble Peace Prize committee

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Letter from President Obama

Dear Noble Prize Peace Committee,

You are a jackass or what ? I am in the government for hardly 9 months (and no, still not able to 'deliver' anything!) This is absurd but tell you what, becoming a twitter trending topic was pretty cool ;)

Regards,
President Obama
P.S. : If you think that this will motivate me to withdraw forces from Afghanistan and Iraq, or that I will actually close down Guantanamo Bay or I would just leave Pakistan to it's own, then yeah, you go ahead and try that :P

Letter from Noble prize committee

Dearest Darling Obama,

Oh honey, how can you think that we would ever expect you to withdraw your forces from anywhere in the world, we will pray that you get more forces and you send them to everywhere in the universe including Mars.

The committee members really 'love' you a lot, they wanted to give you 'Noble Prize for hottest Male,' but as there is no such category, nor can we create one in such a short notice, so we decided to give you the Peace Prize. I hope you will accept such a small token of love from your admirers.

Your lovers fans,
Noble Peace Prize Committee